Category Archives: Personal

Lesson 15756- The definition of Guffaw

The absolute best thing happened to me yesterday.

I had to go up north for a few meetings that took a wee bit longer than I had anticipated. I decided to stop in a restaurant on the way home for lunch. Because it was just me, they sat me in an area that only had tabletops for two people.

I dug into my purse, got my notebook and pen out and I started writing down things from the meetings that I wanted to capture.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an elderly couple get up from their seats to leave. Both were as old as the hills. The husband helped his wife put on her red coat. They took tiny careful steps, the woman bent over in the way that time tends to destroy youth’s posture. Both held hands as they maneuvered around the tables. They appeared so very fragile.

As they passed my table, the woman who was using a cane put her free hand on my upper arm.

I figured that she might need a little extra support, so I didn’t flinch or remove my arm, instead I looked at her and smiled. Sure, go ahead and lean on me is what I thought, take my arm if you need it.

She bent toward me. “Do you want to hear a joke?” she asked.

I was a little surprised, but I’m always up for a joke. “Sure, I’d love to hear one.”  I replied.

She put her head close to mine. “How do you tell one end of a worm from the other?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “How do you tell one end of a worm from the other?”

She looked into my eyes. “You put it in a bowl of flour and wait for it to fart.”

It’s actually a good thing I didn’t have any food in my mouth, because the word “guffaw” was invented for just this kind of situation.

I guffawed.

The woman backed up and continued shuffling out the restaurant, holding hands reveling in the knowledge I’d be laughing well after she and her husband had left the restaurant.

 

 

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Wendy Thomas writes about the lessons learned while raising children and chickens in New Hampshire. Contact her at Wendy@SimpleThrift.com

Also, join me on Facebook to find out more about the flock (children and chickens) and see some pretty funny chicken jokes, photos of tiny houses, and even a recipe or two.

Like what you read here? Consider subscribing to this blog so that you’ll never miss a post. And feel free to share with those who may need a little chicken love.

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Lesson 1575 – Ok, so I’m a fan of poetry

 

Epigrams 2016

Epigrams 2017

Majordomo (2016)

By James Burns

 

James Burns, a friend and co-writer, recently sent me three of his poetry books. I’m going to put this right here – I’m not a big fan of poetry, much of it flies over my head and I get frustrated because I don’t “get it.”

But that’s not the case with James’ poetry. He plays with words, he gets in and then gets out, and he expertly leads you to a conclusion that often takes your breath away. All of his poems deliver a powerful, truthful punch. Take this one:

#15

Poems are slices

Of my soul

Thinly cut

And ready to digest

Epigrams 2017 – Burns

 

The imagery is compelling. I get it. I know what he’s talking about. I can relate.

I feel it.

And that’s the power of poetry, to write in thoughts and images just as clearly as if you were using full paragraphs.

When reading each of James’ books, I find myself taking notes, marking some of the pages, telling myself that I need to share this with my daughter who loves poetry.

She should read this, I think.

She really should.

 

#6

If I prune my beliefs

And change who I am

Bend and twist my soul

As if I were the maker’s bonsai tree

If I give way to your will

What then becomes of me?

Majordomo – Burns

 

Perhaps it’s time to stop saying that I’m not a fan of poetry and begin saying that I’m a fan of James’ poetry.

Because I am.
I truly am.

 

Note – all of James Burns’ poetry collections are available on Amazon (links on each title above) and are very reasonable. If you want to try poetry or if you already love poetry, I suggest you give them a try. Trust me, you won’t regret it. 

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Wendy Thomas writes about the lessons learned while raising children and chickens in New Hampshire. Contact her at Wendy@SimpleThrift.com

Also, join me on Facebook to find out more about the flock (children and chickens) and see some pretty funny chicken jokes, photos of tiny houses, and even a recipe or two.

Like what you read here? Consider subscribing to this blog so that you’ll never miss a post. And feel free to share with those who may need a little chicken love.

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Lesson 1574 – Easy appetizers for when you leave the nest

Some of my kids are beginning to leave the nest. One left this morning to move into his first apartment.

He’s an officer in the Army and so he’ll be getting a lot of good advice, but the one piece of advice *I* could give him was “the best thing you can do for your wallet and your health is to learn how to cook.”

All my kids have learned how to cook to a degree (at the very least they know how to follow a recipe.) There are about 4 meals that they can make without opening a cookbook.  But if you make the same four meals over and over, you’re going get bored and bored people start eating fast food or going out to restaurants just for a break. And that begins to impact your health and wallet.

I’ve been working on a family cookbook for some time, I keep adding to it when I find something that the kids should know.

This was added today.

Easy Appetizers for When Guests Come Over

When you want to have friends over always put out something to eat. It doesn’t have to be much and variety helps. This summer when we were on a family vacation, each night I’d put the following out on the back table so that everyone could relax with drinks and nibbles before dinner.

Trust me, it not only is impressive, but it’s also much appreciated to be able to “break bread” with good friends while conversing.

It helps to have a collection of small bowls ready to use. You can buy them anywhere or even use something like vintage custard cups (often found in thrift shops.) Keep them cleaned and stored between use for when you need them.

Basic Appetizers Continue reading

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Lesson 1573 – Another birthday *sigh*

It’s my birthday.

Another one.

Sigh.

Oh don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that I even get to say “It’s my birthday” but, holy cow, those numbers are getting up there.

I’m now at the age I remember my grandmother was.

Yikes.

The other thing that’s difficult about my birthday is that it comes right after Christmas – when I got a lot of stuff, like 11 journals and 7 books, and 2 mugs. I’m kind of good for now. Continue reading

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Lesson 1572 – My dad’s shirt

This Christmas was a little rough.

Not only was I (and I still am) concerned about what’s going on in the political world – reduction of healthcare, tax scams, rolling back regulations intended to protect our environment, along with a President who could send my family’s military members into a nuclear war at any moment, all on top of managing the holidays.

The kids are older. They have jobs. They have mixed schedules. They’re tired. They let me know.

Planning family time becomes more difficult. The excitement of early childhood is gone and it’s been replaced with a semi-sense of adulthood, you know, I’m too mature to get excited about waking up early on Christmas morning – that sort of thing.

And then there was the realization that orphans, even adult orphans do not get to share Christmas with their parents.

Anyway. Continue reading

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Lesson 1571 – Reclaiming my writing

 

Last year was terrible in oh so many ways.

Like many other creative people, the constant negativity took a toll on my what I did. If you’re a reader of this blog or even my articles, you’d know that my productivity was low.

Very low.

To the point of almost non-existent. And that made me sad, because I live by writing.

But how on earth could I write happy stories (and I do consider myself to be a happy storyteller) when the world appeared to be falling apart? When my family and friends are threatened at every moment?

I fully admit that I wasn’t the best at creating boundaries. At protecting my creative self from the constant onslaught of political madness. Continue reading

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Lesson 1570 – Lost and found

New year, new us.

Prior to the arrival of a guest who was going to spend the night in my daughter’s room, I asked her to, well, make her room a little less pathogenic.

She huffed, she sulked, she whined, and when she discovered that her protestations had no effect, she finally set out to clean her room.

Ever since the kids were little we have had a NO FOOD ON THE SECOND-FLOOR rule. We have an older house and food would just attract mice. Something I definitely didn’t want in the bedrooms. Plus, there is really no need to eat in your bedroom when we have a perfectly functional kitchen and dining room.

Kids get older, they get hooked on their computers and over the years I’ve found that they think nothing of defying our house rule (even though I still yell about it) and taking their food upstairs.

But here’s the problem, the dishes and silverware go up, but they never seem to come back down.

“Where are all of my bowls?” I’d ask and get wide-eyed looks as the reply.

“Where the heck did all of the silverware go?”

Stunning silence. Continue reading

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