I mentioned last week that we had a check-up with the physician who is treating us for Lyme disease (and tick co-infections.) We have become so comfortable with this guy that he has become our family doctor, watching over and monitoring most of our family’s health.
With regard to Lyme disease, we seem to have kicked it out of our family (knock on wood) After about a year of steady antibiotic and supplement therapy, most of our symptoms are gone or greatly reduced.
Which has me a little concerned. Because I have read case after case of people who have struggled for years with treating Lyme disease and not having any success. After years of treatment, those patients are still struggling. It all makes me a little paranoid when I sense something is not right in my body:
Is my knee hurting because of the Lyme disease or is it hurting because of damage done by surgery.
Are my lower leg muscle tremors (which have decreased in severity but haven’t disappeared completely) because of Lyme, an imbalance, or possibly, because of too much weight?
This is what a chronic illness that pretends to go away does to you. It makes you question everything about your health. The question of “what if?” is constantly being asked.
What if it’s returning?
What if it’s not Lyme and this is how I am now?
I just don’t know and after having a chronic Lyme disease infection, I may never be sure.
Recently I had some intense dental work done. I had to be on the lookout for a recurrence of symptoms – because stress can aggravate a dormant condition. It always seems to be something.
It feels like I’m a ticking bomb, ready to go off at any minute. While I may have been able to get on top of my current infection, as long as we have a dog, as long as we live in a state that prides itself on having areas where you can hike and camp, as long as I step out the front door, there is the possibility of Lyme disease coming back into my and my kids’ life.
While I am not going to let Lyme define me (I am Wendy first and foremost and my true identify is not that of a Lyme patient) I still silently worry. Constantly.
I worry about myself and I worry about the kids. I worry about those in our town, our state, our country who are all being exposed to Lyme disease and who may not be getting appropriate treatment. When you have Lyme disease you worry a lot.
Because this is what a chronic illness that pretends to go away does to you.
Wendy Thomas writes about the lessons learned while raising children and chickens in New Hampshire. Contact her at Wendy@SimpleThrift.com
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