Lesson 735 – Guinea hens and Serial Killers

Saturday morning I drove our two Guinea hens down to Connecticut to be re-homed. A reader (thank you, Georgette) knew of someone; Dick, who raised Guineas as a hobby and who was willing to take my pair. I had decided to send both birds because I thought it would be easier on the pair if they went together.

Marc got a cardboard box from our Tractor Supply Store and after about 20 minutes of chasing our Guineas around the pen (seriously, an oiled-up pig has nothing on Guinea hens) I finally caught them (and if truth be told, re-caught them after they escaped several times) and then loaded them into the box. They went into the car and I set out on my way.

It was a 2 hour drive, a trip I was willing to take if it meant my birds would go to a nice home.

As a point of interest, during the drive my Guineas settled down right away to the CD of James Taylor and Carole King but I had to turn John Denver’s Calypso off (not that I really blame them, it definitely wasn’t one of his best) as it seemed to get them too excited.

If I were a serial killer, I thought to myself, as I started driving through rural Connecticut, I might put up an ad asking for people’s extra Guinea hens. This I thought to myself after having sat through 3 hours of Criminal Minds with my sons the night before. You’d have an endless supply of victims once the birds reached puberty and neighbors started complaining about how noisy they were.

I made sure once again, that Marc had the address and contact information of where I was going.

Turns out I didn’t have anything to worry about. Dick lives in Connecticut with his 19 (now, 20, and 21) Guinea hens. He raises them simply because he loves having them around. His birds roam freely around his property and although one neighbor does complain, for the most part, everyone accepts them as part of the neighborhood fauna. Seeing all those birds in the woods was an amazing sight.


Dick and his wife don’t eat the Guinea eggs but he does sell fertilized eggs to those who want them. He also has a story of raising over 60 hens for someone who ordered them to simply roam his property to get rid of ticks. Dick did it and the person has reported that the Guineas have kept his property (and the surrounding woods) tick free. I was envious. That was the entire reason we had gotten our pair. They were supposed to be our best defense against the tick population.

Oh well.

Dick is 77 years old and he told me that he is on the go from the minute he wakes up until he has his solitary beer (that he’s earned) in the evening at night (all of which probably explains why he is so active at 77.) He cares for his flock, some chickens, a garden, and 4 terriers (who also added to the noise of the Guineas.) Dick’s backyard is not for the faint of heart.


But it’s heaven for someone who loves and respects the idea of sharing your life with other critters.

Before I came, Dick had set up a cage within the coop to house my two birds until they were accepted into the flock. When it came time to take them out of the cardboard box,  still smarting from my workout of trying to get the Guineas into the box, I offered to help.

“Nope, don’t need help,” Dick said as he pulled both of the birds out by their feet and proceeded to put them into the cage.


I admitted that I had never held a chicken by its feet before, to which Dick informed me that not only was it the easiest way to hold them, but that it was a way to show them “who was the boss.”

We talked for a bit more. I found out that Dick had grown up in Pennsylvania. That he had served in the Air Force, and that he had gotten some training on the G.I. bill to become an airplane mechanic.

It turned out that Dick is not a serial killer (damn you, Criminal Minds, anyway.) Instead, he’s an incredibly centered man whose compass points true. He has a great sense of humor and loves living with his flock. In short, Dick is the kind of person you want to be like when you grow up.

And he’s the kind of person I felt perfectly comfortable leaving my birds with.



With a large family, we tend to make weekly trips to donate used goods to the local Goodwill and Savers stores. A running joke in our family is that if I come home with less bags than I dropped off, then I’m doing good.

I dropped off two Guinea hens at Dick’s house on Saturday, and this is what I came home with.


All this week, you’ll be hearing about this incredible gift.

Wendy Thomas writes about the lessons learned while raising children and chickens in New Hampshire. Contact her at Wendy@SimpleThrift.com

Also, join me on Facebook to find out more about the flock (children and chickens) and see some pretty funny chicken jokes, photos of tiny houses, and even a recipe or two. 



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8 responses to “Lesson 735 – Guinea hens and Serial Killers

  1. Wendy, GREAT POST! Just fabulous. Absolutely. Now, c’mon…..what’s in the box??!!!!

  2. Candice

    Funny. It sounds just like the experience I had when I had to give up my two guineas. I’m glad yours (and mine) went to such good homes.

  3. I can SO relate to the title of your post. I once had a flock of 30 (!!!) guineas (silly me). OH MY. The idea was for them to roam my 10 acres, but instead, since I raised them from chicks, they learned where I lived & sat, all together, screeching outside my back door until I came out & fed them. Never let a guinea hen know where you live! Needless to say, they had to be moved on . . .

  4. SUCH an interesting post Wendy! I thoroughly enjoyed every word, and had to log on to see the pictures, (you sneaky blogger you). The old man sounds like he’d have some interesting stories to tell although I’m not sure he’d share too many. Sounds like a man of few words. (I wonder). Looking forward to meeting your new friend/friends. 🙂 Fun day.

  5. debnlaptop

    I enjoyed your story immensely! So glad Dick was happy to take them too! I’m new to your blog but love you sense of humor already! 🙂

  6. Eduardo Campbell

    I live in a gated community where non domesticated animals including livestock is forbidden. However I cleared of 4 lots to build my house and there are an abundance of bugs and ticks. I really don’t care for my 1 neighbor and I think I found a solution. In NC I can get a license to get any animal registered as an emotional support animal and the HOA can not discriminate. I figured 1 guinea probably eat the bugs and upset my grouchy neighbor. Any suggestions? Good idea?

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